The fresh and fousty batch.
Can you believe it’s been pretty much a year since you saw the future and knew that I’d type ‘Can you believe it’s been pretty much a year…’ now? Smart arse. More on seeing the future later.
Keeping with tradition, I’ve designed a new series of alternative Chrimbo cards and infiltrated friends’ and family’s homes (and likely quickly their bins too). Nobody asks for them. Nobody wants them. Nobody likes them. A bit like… adverts? I was going to say Brussels sprouts but I bloody love them! More on sprouts a bit later.
Here are the cards!
Design 1: Sant-e-Scooter
The dapper-looking chap has donned his festive red garb and is ready to speed into the night, taking out unaware pedestrians as he mounts the pavement without a care in the world. Alongside his trusty canine ‘Bants’ and his sun[bed]-tanned partner ”Telle-‘Telle’ he’s on a one-man mission to alleviate people of their hard-earned possessions.
Design 2: Beans bonanza!
Whilst material gifts may be becoming ever more expensive the gift of flatulence is still in plentiful and cheap supply. The children’s faces will light up when they open these boxes, but that’s probably just down to the noxious gas.
Design 3: future vision
What’s Christmas without a bit of black metal-inspired art? A Christmas not worth having, that’s what!
Design 4: disgusted Santa
If you feel an overwhelming sense of shame when you look at this one then chances are you are right to do so.
Design 5: Santa sprouts slide away
Left! Left! No, right, stupid! No, I meant left! Idiot! Oh the joy of games. Bringing people together for generations.
Inside design
Continuing the computer game theme across the inside of all of this year’s cards was this design. Is that…? There was a ‘clean version’ too where deemed necessary (basically the same but minus the willies).
These designs will all be available next year for purchasing on cards and other items. I suppose you can now just sulk for another 11 months and wait.
Whatever this time of year may mean to you, I hope it is exactly as you want it to be.
All added to the Chrimbo cards page, along with all previous years’.